well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize