My nipple is on Facebook.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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