Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize