With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
