the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My pussy is not your playground.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
