hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
