Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
