girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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