how can u be prego again
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
