Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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