Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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