hell yes lets make some ravioli
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
