I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
