Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
