She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
should my penis look like a turkey
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize