come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
