Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
