either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize