yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
