So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
