omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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