I wannas sexs uuuuu
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
