he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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