This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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