If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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