So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
