Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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