CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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