If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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