I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
