Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
