God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize