Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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