a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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