I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he fucked my hip out of place.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This is the high leading the old right now
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
