I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
