grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
