Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
