I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
