Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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