I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
