your room smells of hookers.
And success
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize