guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
no you cant smoke seaweed
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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