so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize