Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
