You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
