I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
