He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize