Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize