My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I smell like Dick and happiness
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
