Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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