I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
