I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
