Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
