Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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