Operation Purity has been aborted
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
