he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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