names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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