Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
