Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
