ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize